london part.1985

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smell your air, your food, the hidden park at the end of our street after the rain breaks the heat
beat the grey with my feet as hard as I possibly can to make a mark
i’m here taking up space, feeling this place
all around my soft body
as I cry at the thought of leaving
why are you always coming back to let me know how much I don’t deserve you
love the blue light blue of your centre
and the crowded chaos crowded peaceful chaos
at my centre
at my centre
i am wide open, a loud open grabbing with my hands
pulling at my eyelashes until I can’t close my eyes no more girl in mourning
see the red brick of the old house on the old road
down the shit lane, full of those who don’t want to remain
don’t leave me here
it’s fine. it’s okay. you got this, right?
my future in your hands, you’ve felt my might, on the days good days are alright.
I’ll be seeing you, kid.
#londontown

samrosey sig

blue ldn

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Somewhere at the top of the city, lost in the comfort of the chaos, I found a me I could fall in love with.
The kind of me who stares at herself in the window reflection of a pop up shop, and isn’t surprised by the person looking back.
The kind of me who writes poems about her day, blue aching poetry lines running up and down the windy London streets and back.
Back to a full hearted girl, a silly girl with cracks, breaking cracks wide open on the ground.
The kind of girl who wallows in the puddle of broken promises, the kind of me who steps out into rain because it’s romantic don’t you know, don’t you see me.

The kind of me who writes poems about her day, blue aching poetry lines running up and down the windy London streets and back.
The kind of me realising it doesn’t matter what you see because I see myself, my loving self, my fat body beautiful self, with emotions erratic, life fantastic in the big city living me.

samrosey sig

welcome to london

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Call-collecting memories of the first rain,
of the first time waiting for you, for classes running late, rain running down, around us, in London Town is, where we were made.

We were there.

 

samrosey fic

ldn

 

I miss you elevator, mirrored walls and empty stalls, drunk on the city.

I miss you rainy greetings, and the seating, and the boxes full of pretty things.

I miss the silent screams, as they all walk too quickly, I get so lost in your camouflage, loudly, slowly.

I miss the lights, a thousand sights, brighter than new eyes.
I miss the crashing coffee sounds, clanking cups aloud on cold mornings, and finding shade with you in the sun.
I miss the emotional scribbling, picture-making and the click click capturing, I can’t find you now.
But I can still feel you now.

I miss your smoke, and your glamour.
I miss your grit, and your fire.
I miss the tears in the church
and the time we stood on the corner in the middle of the night, waiting.
I miss my…self, I knew who I was then.
I miss you now, I found who I was then.

 

samrosey fic