Tonight We Build A Dream On
She is soft, and altogether too existing, she is irrefutable, and I feel as if my strength might break her. One sharp movement, and her kisses would cease. Kissing never excited me like this before; the sweeping of her lips on mine, it feels sublime. Kisses were just one part of something greater. A larger adventure, the pursuit of intoxication, a sequence set to a certain scene and flavour. The result always being the immense prize of one’s virtue, the generosity of another’s body.
Bella’s body is pressed against me. We are more than okay, and she isn’t dying from my touch.
Flora and the Zephyrs
The water is like a fresh day, blinding in light. The heat drowns my body, running along my skin and away as I try to hold on, holding onto the wall. I don’t feel like I was just lying in a pool of my own blood, and dirt. I don’t feel like almost dying. My tummy shakes, and I wonder about the consequences. The world is too bright, and way too loud, so I stand directly under the head of the shower, hard sprays drenching my shivering form, and every time I think I can hear something I couldn’t possibly hear, I turn my head to the side and let the water run along my ears.
The water is like a fresh day. And Edward is waiting for me.
Lumina, chapter 23
Flora and the Zephyrs by John William Waterhouse
Teaser, chapter 20:
She wrote out words in another language, hidden doodles to the sweeping eye of any freshman as I tapped a new lullaby underneath the table with my fingers imagining the girl at my piano.
I told myself it was all just a fantasy. I couldn’t really have her. She would see the monster, and she would run. I would want her to.
But then I felt her.
And then I held her in my hands.
And now she invades my very being with her voice.
My fingers slide against the ivory with ease, the black steps forming words inside that I cannot say. My world is a song now, still only the softest of tinkering made from my real, very real feelings. My head is low to the keys, pressed to the top of the piano, holding me there. Holding me up. She holds me up in a state of hope when hope had left a long time ago. She laughs at my secrets and begs for truth. She stares into the face of a monster and wills it to eat her.
My heart fell out of me and rolled along the floor to where my best friends were falling in love. A lust I could only feel, not have, not hold.
Now, as we sit beneath the stars, his shiny silver car saving us – saving me – from the cold, I try to fight the sadness.
I should just be happy, but I feel the looming dread of something breaking what we’re trying to build, and while he’s here, with me, fighting what’s against us, I can think of nothing else but physically connecting him to me. Because I can’t help but think of him leaving. Boring class after boring class come tomorrow when all I want is more of him, all of him.
I, Human… You, Vampire
The door to J.J’s class is open, the room taking students slowly. She is not here yet, not close yet, the pit of my stomach sunken to the depths of me waiting. Always waiting. I am not certain if going in is wise. With proximity comes intimacy. With the language comes sex, comes me dragging her body out into the world with me.
Chapter 17 teaser:
I realise we’re walking across the field, heading towards the bleachers, it’s December, and the nights are here so soon. The sky is a blue, covering us slowly in night.
“There she is.”
“Who?” I see about seven people huddled in front of us, about twenty feet away. Two or three more of them linger off to the right. Among the seven are two girls, the rest are boys.
“Alice, that’s who.” Alice Cullen. Edward’s sister. Sitting on my bed, he told me about his family. Carlisle and Esme, Jasper and Alice, and another brother, he never mentioned his name.
“You like Alice?”
“She has a boyfriend.”
“Love is free, B.”
“I don’t think other people see it that way, Nettie.”
“Actually, see her,” Nettie points to the other girl, a tall redhead, I think her name is Siobhan, I think she’s in J.J’s class with me and Edward. “She was talking the other day about how Alice used to date a girl from dubvee two, but the girl got took out of school by her parents and they never saw her again.”
She got took away, like sent away. Or removed for being crazy due to the very real fact that Alice is a vampire and she knew? Maybe she couldn’t handle it. Maybe she told people and it wasn’t her parents who removed her.
Maybe…maybe Alice…killed her.
I was nine when I read my first comic book. It was really old, the colours were almost all worn out, and it smelled like turps. I used the pennies I had collected in my penguin shaped ceramic money box to buy it at a jumble sale, and it was the first really scary thing I had ever seen. Even still, I couldn’t stop looking at the pages and pages of the evil characters face, of her face – the shocked look of the heroine, the subtle changes as she moved from the unknown to the absolutely terrified.
For Halloween one year, down at the Res, Seth and Jake dressed as Vikings they wore blonde wigs, wielded plastic swords and home made helmets. I was fifteen that year, and went dressed as a vampire. A slutty vampire, but a vampire all the same.
But I was eighteen when I first met one. A vampire. Edward Cullen is a vampire. Or so he told me. Showed me. He tried to show me multiple times and I just… Edward is a vampire.
Chapter 16 will hopefully post tomorrow (Tuesday).
Mind Over Matter
There was no light but I knew she was still up there. I left when the others left, thinking she would follow. She seemed blind to the potential dangers of leaving so late. Even the space she occupied, she was fearless in protecting it, using the same materials, the same seat and window of light before they got to it. But there was no light now, as I waited for Bella to come out, waiting for her to realise it was getting too late and she had to walk across campus. I couldn’t read their minds or see their future decisions but I saw it in their eyes, their desire as she passed them, brushing their shoulders through the hallway, or trudging across the green to get to her dorm room, her pretty face in the night light. So I waited. Outside of the technology building, I was still in earshot of the attic in the art building. I could still hear her moving, hear her breathing.